Do what’s not for you! What’s stopping you?
I spent a lot of time when I was younger thinking ‘things weren’t for me’.
Things that I might have wanted to do, not horrible things like mathematics or science.
During my school years I didn’t realize there were so many things I could have been a part of but somehow didn’t seem to be ‘for me’.
There was a cheerleading squad I could have been on, a yearbook committee, sports teams, dance lessons, musical instrument lessons, trips to wonderful places. All of these things seemed to have other people’s names on them and ‘weren’t for me’.
I wondered, how come these things were not for me?
I concluded as an adult that these things were not for me because I was influenced mainly by my father, who didn’t value these things and therefore didn’t feel the need to engage me in any of these things. He had a completely different set of values, not right or wrong, just different and so I spent a good part of my life thinking things ‘weren’t for me because I was busy being shaped by a different set of values. Click here for more on values.
We are, whether we know it or not or like it or not, a product of our early parental figures and the boundaries they live within. This rubs off on us and shapes our beliefs about what is possible. If they were a positive influence we copy them, if they were a harmful influence we may rebel in the complete opposite way.
It is only when we, in Steve Jobs words ‘connect the dots’ and look back that is begins to make sense. We can begin to understand how beliefs evolved and why we choose certain behaviors.
I suppose it was maybe 20 years ago (I am 51 now) when I started to think ‘hell yes- count me in’ and I began to do things that probably ‘weren’t for me’. Since then the list of things that weren’t for me has grown significantly.
It includes the following:
- Gained a Master’s degree (didn’t think academia was for me)
- 2 x running London marathon (didn’t think sport was for me)
- 10 years as a fitness instructor (always thought I was too fat/unfit)
- Had a brief period as a stand up comic (scary!)
- Smaller engagements as public speaker and trainer and facilitator (who’d want to hear what I have to say?)
- A Dragon Boat racer (I am not a team player)
- Been a senior manager in the Public Sector (But I haven’t grown up yet!)
- A performer in the 2012 London Olympics (wow! Even I am impressed with me here lol)
- Spent time on a desert island (a super cool thing to do)
- Was a work on art on the 4th Plinth in Trafalgar square in London (a select group ONLY and I was chosen)
- Become well-travelled person (with the Europe on my doorstep it would be rude not to)
In hindsight I’ve done quite a bit. Next on my list are things that I have dreamed of and never allowed myself to believe was possible.
- I have always wanted to broaden my sphere of influence – to use my knowledge and passion to inspire others-lots of others- thousands maybe more- to live authentic and joyful lives- through workshops and speaking engagements.
- I have always wanted to run a retreat to allow people to come together and enjoy stunning scenery, great camaraderie and come away inspired with new ideas about what is possible, and ready to take action.
These new goals are the focus on my life for the next few months. They are about to come to life as well as I launch a series of workshops and my first retreat in September.
So I will finish where I started – what’s stopping you? Share in the comments!